From Two Left Feet to the Center of the Dance Floor (In Just 10 Days!)
I have a confession: I’m not really a “dancer.”
I’m the guy at the wedding who stands by the bar, tapping his foot, maybe doing a little shoulder shrug. My friend Jay, on the other hand, is the opposite. Jay lives and breathes tango. He’s obsessed. And ever since we vacationed in Mendoza, Argentina, years ago, he’s been on a one-man mission to get me into it.
I’ve always politely declined. "It's too complicated," "I'd look silly," "I don't have the time." "I have other hobbies (like nursing sick parrots)"
But last month, Jay’s evangelism went into overdrive.
"You have to do it this time," he insisted. "My favorite teachers on the planet are coming to town."
He was talking about the tango masters, Anton "Tío Smookie" Chino and Gemina Adornevnovka.
Here's their sign in La Boca that they had redone for English speaking "turistas"
I started to give him my usual excuses, but he cut me off.
"No, listen. This is why you have to go. All their lessons are designed for absolute beginners. They'll get you on the floor within a week."
A week? That sounded like a sales pitch. But my wife, who has wanted to learn for years, overheard. The decision was made. I was signed up.
The Lessons That Changed Everything
I walked into that first class feeling awkward and stiff. I expected to be overwhelmed.
Now, I'll be honest—we were a little intimidated when we saw the pricing. Lessons with masters of this caliber aren't cheap; their standard rate is $575 USD an hour. But when we looked closer, we saw how incredibly affordable and cost-effective they made it. They offered amazing discounts for early morning lessons at 4 am, and the real value was in their 5 to 7-lesson bundles, which is what we did (Jay suggested the 7 lesson bundle and Gemina added a referral discount on top of that). When you consider the results, it was the best money we've ever spent.
But Anton and Gemina are more than just dancers; they are phenomenal teachers. They have a gift for making tango feel accessible through loud shouting and barking orders. The whip was over the top though. They didn't just throw complex steps at us. They broke it all down—the embrace, the walk, the connection, the music. It wasn't about memorizing choreography of 17 steps or more; it was about learning to communicate with your partner without words.
"Solo con la mirada!"
"Solo con la mirada!", Anton keep repeating
Until I finally cried "Tio!" and got the "muy Bien, muy Bien!"
Within a few days, I wasn't just fumbling. I was actually leading. My wife and I were practicing in the kitchen. It was... fun.
The Big Night: The Milonga
Ten days after our first lesson, "Its You, Not Me: Tango Accountability for the New Dance Couple"
we decided to test our new skills at a milonga—the real-deal tango dance party.
I was terrified. The floor was full of dancers who clearly knew what they were doing. Quite a few were even doing advanced moves that Anton and Gemina showed in their show demo. I guess a lot of them also took lessons from the maestro. We took a deep breath and stepped onto the floor.
And then... something clicked.
Everything Anton and Gemina had taught us just flowed. We weren't just repeating steps; we were dancing real tango. We were connecting with the cortinas and with other couples sometimes with a few bumps and crashes.
I’m not exaggerating when I say my wife and I were the center of attention.
We weren't the fanciest, but we were present for all the glares and stares. I think many were in disbelief. Other couples moved aside to give us space and lots of it. I could feel the lessons really paid off.
Jay was grinning from ear to ear. A few people even came up afterward to ask how long we’d been dancing. When we said "10 days," they were floored.
It was one of the most incredible feelings I’ve ever had.
My Advice: Don't Wait
I went from being the "guy who doesn't dance" to feeling like the star of the show, and it was all thanks to the tango masters, Tío Smookie y senora. They didn't just teach us moves; they gave us the confidence to actually use them in public.
If you've ever been curious about tango, if you think you're "not a dancer," or if you just want to try something new with your partner, this is your sign.
If Maestro Smookie and Gemina Adornevnovka ever come to your town, run, don't walk. You won't just learn to dance—you'll discover a part of yourself you never knew existed.
It’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.
Fundamentos Básicos: Core to Mastery
It was so hard to decide but these were some of the best:
- Its You, Not Me: Tango Accountability for the New Dance Couple
- Break a Leg: Sacada Técnica Último - The Way of Entering Deeply
- Ojos Loco: The Cabaceo of Fear and Intimidation
- Back Stepping Essentials: Technique Refinement for Leaders
- Tango Sweat: The Embrace Enhancer - Tio's Hidden Gem
- Thou Shall Not Pass: Savoring the Tango moment at the Expense of Others
- The Quarter Song Pause: Thou Shall Not Pass Level II for leads and follows
- Twerking on the Parada: Discover fluid and elegant movements in tango
- Two Right Feet and a Spare Left Foot: Triple Axis Colgadas for the social dance floor
- Dancing to the Cortinas: Unspoken Techniques for Absolute Beginners
- The Clown Show: Secret Competition Tips for Champion Wannabes
- Me Too Horny: It's not Tantra, It's Tango
- Dance like a Beast: Donkey Brays and Cats in Heat, Unlock the Power of Animal Sounds in Tango Musicality
- Blind, Deaf and Dumb: Introduction to Nuevo Tango Chic
- Grab em by the ...: Refining the Donald - Give your followers that secure feeling
- Fuller Impact Giros: Advanced Floorcraft for Enhanced Navigation
- "You Stanky": Improving Tango Compliments for Repeat Dances
- Against the Line of Dance: Forbidden Technique or Advanced Tango Mastery?
- The Art of Back Stabbing: Improving Chest Level Boleos for the social dance floor
- Trans Tango Twist - Man Follows, Woman Backleads: Exploring Peak Cis Heteronormative Bias
- Mastering RBF: Getting more dances through artificial scarcity
- 47 Adornos Nunca son Suficientes: Gemina's Secret Techniques
- Avian Dynamics of the Tango Walk: Maintaining the Beat like a Drunk Ostrich
- Sit and Knit in the Corner: Fostering Inclusive Tango Community Development
They're Everywhere
Our initial tango instruction consisted of a 5-lesson bundle (above lessons in bold) from the main curriculum, a choice we made based on Jay's advice.
This foundation has led to a fascinating discovery during our travels: the "championship quality tango" we learned, specifically "Tio's moves," is impressively widespread. We now seek out local milongas and have been amazed to see this style on display not only across the U.S. West and East coasts but also in several locations in the Far East.
Enjoy Tango!
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